Saturday, June 17, 2017

Monsters

On 6/15/17 Kev writes and I type:

The monsters we carry inside are the most deadly monsters that exist. They feed off negativity and if left to their own devices-begin to consume the true people we know ourselves to be. They try to eat us alive from the inside out, and attempt to fill our souls with lies...
The resentments that we can't let go of become these monsters that live inside...They grow teeth, and devour our hearts. When we can't let go of our resentments we end up falling into the bellies of our own beasts. I know this from firsthand experience.  I had to learn how to be able to let go of all the extra baggage that I allowed myself to carry around. I had to learn to live life on life's terms.
I keep a shield on my heart today, and attempt to live my life with completely pure intentions. By letting go of our spiritual wreckage we end up clearing a path to a better way of life...

Today's Positive Affirmation: I learn to walk with my shadows next to me in order to see where I need to never let myself stray...

See Through My Eyes, And Take What you Need

On 5/27/17 Kev writes and I type:

I remember standing in the booking area of the Mahoning County jail almost two years ago. I was filthy, bloody and literally a bag of bones...I was disconnected from everything. For the second time in three years I had found my way to a place I thought i would never see again..
I remember a deputy standing behind me spraying me with some type of cleaner..I can only imagine how I must have smelled that day. I had been holed up in a vacant house that one of my drug dealers owned. Needless to say..there was no running water inside.
I told the deputy checking me in that I wished I was dead...I was promptly placed on suicide watch and put in a medical cell. I can remember every second of those first four days...
I look back now and even though I am still incarcerated..It's still hard to fathom who I was two years ago. Most people would cringe at the idea of sharing any of that being a part of their life but I've learned to accept my past , and I understand that I'm able to help addicts through sharing these sometimes negative experiences. If I can help another human being see clearly where they are heading on their self-destructive path and help them gain courage through my experience to find a better existence..all my suffering will be for a greater good in the end. If we can learn to be open and honest with ourselves, we gain the strength to move forward and in so doing we truly learn to live our lives through sharing them for the benefit of others...
This is my true purpose. See through my eyes, and take what you need...

Today's positive affirmation: I will have no fears and no walls hiding who I truly am...

Saturday, June 10, 2017

I Would Rather Be Naked Than invisible

On 5/26/17 Kev Writes, I Type:

Most of us spend our entire lives trying to run from who we truly are...we need to realize that the only opinion that matters is the one we have of ourselves.  Pointing fingers can feel like swords, but when we are able to accept who we truly are inside-we arm ourselves with a shield that is impervious against outside judgement.
I know what it feels like to be judged by people...as a recovering addict you end up dealing with the stigma associated with that label. On top of being a recovering addict, I also face the stigma with being labeled a convicted felon. What I understand now is that a label is only able to control us when we choose to believe that label defines us....If we end up believing in what others want us to think of ourselves, we end up trying to hide who we truly know ourselves to be...
Don't be afraid to show your scars. Vulnerability is really a beautiful thing. It allows people to relate with you. We should not fear being judged for what mistakes we have made in out lives. We should be able to understand that in order to overcome these setbacks, we must first be able to embrace them.
The rest of the world will appreciate someone who is able to grow from their mistakes more than the person who chooses to wallow in their own self-destruction.
I would rather be naked than invisible...I accept where I've been, and I realize that without those moments I may never have ended up discovering who I truly am inside.
So, here I am. You can choose to take me or leave me, just know that in the end I am completely OK with either/or. Don't be afraid of who you truly are. Our ability to share ourselves with the rest of humanity will always be our greatest weapon in changing the course of history...
Be proud not only your accomplishments...be proud of your failures as well because without them you would not be the person you are today...

Today's positive affirmation: I will not be afraid to shine, because I know that all light shines brighter in a little darkness!

Saturday, May 20, 2017

The Will To Truly Live

On 5/17/17, Kev writes and I type:

Have you ever wanted to accomplish something so badly that you would do anything to make it happen? I truly believe that most of our wildest dreams are only impossible when we stop believing that they are...We make our own heaven or hell right here on earth...The possibilities of what we can achieve only has limits when we make a conscious decision to draw a line.
Our consciousness connects us to a hallway of infinite doors...We hold the keys to each entrance. That thing you want most in life becomes possible when you truly decide to make it possible. I believe we all have the power to will the life we want to live into existence. If you really think about it, our minds hold the answers to everything we truly want. We know what to do but the hardest part is to place one foot in front of the other to reach that destination. The extent of our belief in what we can achieve will define the overall existence we make for ourselves..
If you want something in life, then truly believe and  love it. Love is about being able to give yourself to that one person , thing or idea. With real love we are able to create anything...with love we are able to will an entire world into existence....True love is how Jesus Christ was able to perform miracles..With a love for all things we begin to understand that anything is possible. That love must first come from within, because we can't give something back if we first do not have it within ourselves.
Don't turn your back on your hopes and dreams. Love them and nurture them with all that you are..Believe in that love and you will begin to watch those dreams become a tangible reality. Don't be afraid of the path it takes to get you where you want..put one foot in front of the other and let love be your guide..even when things may seem impossible and when at times you see no end in sight, realize that love will conquer all, and that as long as your heart still beats...you will always have the will to truly live...

Today's Positive Affirmation: I will define my existence through a love for all life.

"Where there's life there's hope" - Terrence

#Victory Favors The Brave

On 5/11/17 Kev writes, I type:

What does it mean to be truly brave? I feel like our victories in life can be determined by how brave we are in the face of our greatest adversity. The success we achieve throughout the course of our lives is accomplished through having  the courage to be who we truly are...Victory favors the brave, because only those who are dauntless have the strength to fight for what they want. We get nowhere by succumbing to defeat or by giving up before the miracle happens...Sometimes, in the darkest moments of our lives -by being brave- we can find that one light that guides us towards the happiest moment we may ever find....
There's a famous quote that says "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." Standing on that ledge called change can be a scary place to find yourself. Change itself goes against our very nature as human beings..., but having the courage to take that leap of faith can sometimes be the deciding factor between victory and failure...Face yourself in order to find yourself, and your whole world will change. Bravery is about being able to fight for what you know is right...Sometimes the only difference between winning a battle is being able to know how to lose first in order to find the strength to win the war..Victory favors the brave and the brave use their hearts as weapons, not their hands . With love we win all wars, with unconditional love, we arrest the possibility of war and find victory over hate..Bravery is LOVE and victory favors the brave.

Today's Positive Affirmation: I have the courage to not only face myself, but the courage to change the world with love, because I know victory favors the brave!

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Damage Control

On 5/2/17 Kev writes, I type:

I believe we are all damaged in some way, shape or form-no matter how big or how small that scar may be. Suffering is a major part of life, and our very existence depends on our reactions towards the adversity we face. We cannot let the dents and bruises upon our spirit become a fatal malady that holds us back from living our lives to the fullest. Part of being alive is about learning how to stand back up when we fall down hard. If we choose the live life in resentment,,we may never escape those moments that attempt to hold us down.
When we get into a minor fender bender, we accept the situation, confront the other person, trade insurance information and attempt to find the best way to repair our damage. I feel this is very similar to how life works. We face experiences that may test our daily life.. we can either choose to accept each situation as it comes, and learn from that experience or we can allow ourselves to remain trapped in that one moment. When we allow our world to be dictated by the very things that destroy us from the inside, we end up not only hurting ourselves continuously but we end up hurting those that are close to us.
I've had to learn to accept myself in order to let go of my past. I've found that through practicing maintenance or as I like to call it "damage control" on a daily basis, I'm able to live life on life's terms and gain a more sincere insight into myself.  My heart, mind and soul are no longer trapped in separate cages and I've been able to find a new sense of freedom and growth through my own self examination. I'm able to accept myself and in return accept others for who they are...

Today's Positive Affirmation: "Love? What is it? Most natural painkiller there is. LOVE." ..William S Burroughs

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Transplanting A New Way OF Life

On 4/27/17 Kev writes, I type:

We all feed off each other..One of the most amazing things I see happen in recovery based meetings is the new way of life that is found through the shared experiences of one addict helping another...When I thoroughly worked the twelve steps with a sponsor... I have learned by living the steps on a daily basis that I would be able to transplant the new way of life that I had found into the next person struggling. The death of our old habits can offer life to the next person in need... gaining the understanding that we are no better or worse than the person next to us - will help us to become an asset for each other.. We can always learn from one another. Even when someone displays a negative thinking pattern or chooses to live their life in a destructive way..we can still learn from watching their experiences and using them to gain a greater insight into what we must do in our own lives to eliminate that same scenario from happening to us...Our shared experiences are what makes this crazy world go round...we don't have to agree on the choices people make, but we can use what we learn not only from our own negative choices, but from the negative choices of others to better our lives and in return help better the lives of others who are in similar situations....
When a surgeon transplants a new heart....he would never choose to transplant a defective organ into someone in need of a healthy replacement. This same concept holds true to life in general. In order to convey the right message we have to first practice what we preach. Plus, how could we convey an experience we have not yet lived? By demonstrating the benefit of being a good person, we in turn create an image that others can learn from...we plant the seeds of a new life much the same way a surgeon transplants a healthy organ into a person needing that new organ. We can transplant a new way of life and give the world a better heart and a better beat to follow...

Today's Positive Affirmation: I will be the healthy example that breathes new life into those in need..